Welcome to the tenth installment of Shadowhunters Buzz Sessions — more season two! Things are getting really messy! We’re mad about it! Ahh! For anyone unfamiliar with this series, our social media editor, Samantha, and contributor, Shanicka, haved watched two episodes every week of Freeform’s Shadowhunters. The series is based on Cassandra Clare’s young adult urban fantasy series The Mortal Instruments.
Each Shadowhunters Buzz Session begins in a chatroom while Shanicka and Samantha watch the episodes; then, those chats are transcribed here on Rogues Portal for your reading pleasure (with some points expanded and other, unrelated shenanigans deleted).
This week, they watched Shadowhunters S02E05, “Dust and Shadows”, and S02E06, “Iron Sisters”.
WARNING: There will be spoilers for the series (duh) and the books! Proceed with caution! There will also be some swearing, because that happens.
S02E05, “Dust and Shadows”
Samantha: I’m still mad that they killed Jocelyn so fast. Whyyyyy dedicate an entire season to finding her and then kill her in episode four of the next season? That’s so silly.
Shanicka: Same. I’m just mad because like…it was such a waste of my damn time.
Samantha: Also, like – Alec has a big enough guilt complex.
Shanicka: EXACTLY. It’s actually incredibly fucked up all around.
Samantha: Alec stress-shooting arrows is relatable though. My poor babe.
Shanicka: Lol too real. I feel so bad for him.
Samantha: …This all coming back to Jace is also. Ow. mY HEART. Alec’s #1 priority. UGH.
Samantha: Simon going for any breadcrumbs she drops also hurts. It’s fucked that she’s making his vampirism sound like a good thing? I know he’s making the best of it but…
Shanicka: I fucking LOATHE Simon/Clary. It’s gross.
Samantha: “Sometimes there are things you just have to accept.” LIKE PEOPLE DYING.
Shanicka: And yeah, especially because he didn’t ask for it. At all. Ever.
Samantha: “The Clave in their wisdom.” FIGHT ME. I just got so heated omg.
Shanicka: TRASH. Also fucking trash ass Aldertree.
Samantha: This mausoleum is some extreme R+J vibes. STAR CROSSED LOVERS. The incest is Too Much.
Shanicka: Hahahaha it’s always too much. Jesus.
Samantha: Clary… Let it go. Like, damn. Stop being so selfish.
Samantha: I 100% do not trust this warlock. Hugging is a lot of touching? What’s she doing?
Samantha: No one should mess with death!
Shanicka: EVER. Like read a fucking book, Clarissa.
Samantha: Oh! I’ve seen this little girl!
Shanicka: MADZIE! MY PRINCESS.
Samantha: I’M SO STRESSED. DON’T MAKE DEALS WITH WARLOCKS YOU DON’T KNOW.
Shanicka: It’s so fucking dumb of her. Like I get that grief makes people do irrational things but. YIKES.
Samantha: She’s already brought one person back from the dead! Sort of! And he was really angry at her! STOP. Everyone is terrible.
Shanicka: LMAO RIGHT. Like. LEARN YOUR LESSON.
Samantha: Malec! Maaaalec. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
Shanicka: I would die for them both.
Samantha: Simon, you weirdo.
Shanicka: My dark vamp son.
Samantha: I love him. He’s so dramatic – for good reason but like – I love him. This is his sister right?
Samantha: Oh no, Simon…
Samantha: Who is the music supervisor on this show? I want to hang out with them.
Shanicka: Hahaha that’s a great question.
Shanicka: Ugh I love Izzy. So much.
Samantha: Izzy is f l a w l e s s. UNTIL I REALIZED I HAD TO SWEAR OFF BOYS. PRINCESS.
Shanicka: FUCK ALDERTREE. This trash and racist storyline begins….
Samantha: Please don’t tell me this is going to be an Older Authority Figure Sexually Harasses a Young Pupil plot. I literally don’t have the strength… OH NO. NOOOO NO NO NO OH NO. THIS WAS IN THE PREQUEL BOOKS. FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO.
Shanicka: It’s so fucking gross. He’s her fucking drug dealer. Two of the only POC on the cast!!!!
Samantha: OMG I’M SO MAD. THAT’S SUCH GARBAGE. BUT ALSO THAT SHIT IS FUCKED, YOU’RE BASICALLY ADDICTED FROM THE GET GO.
Shanicka: It’s so shitty.
Samantha: Don’t? Leave your weapon? I’m so stressed.
Shanicka: Also wait did Alec make that grossed out face when that lady thought he was straight??? I missed it!
Samantha: I thought it was because CLARY and he HATES Clary.
Samantha: I CANNOT BELIEVE SIMON TOLD HIS MOM. I’ve reached the point where I remember basically nothing from the books and everything is a surprise.
Samantha: I’m so stressed Shanicka. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIDN’T I SAY I DIDN’T TRUST THAT LADY. THIS IS SO GROSS.
Shanicka: Yeah, FUCK her. It’s so wild that…we’ve reached this episode already. I feel like originally it took AGES. I’m almost positive there was like a weird 1 or 2 week break.
Samantha: Hate those hiatuses.
Samantha: That thing is GROSS. It’s like… part spider or something. Wtf. It looks like Jack Skellington was dipped in wet cement. In other news, lol, SHE’S AN ANGEL JACE.
Shanicka: LMAO Jack Skellington omfg.
Shanicka: Simon :(((
Samantha: Poor Simon ?
Shanicka: Simon’s momma :(((
Samantha: Everyone ?
Shanicka: UGH. I hate that Izzy storyline. SO. MUCH.
Samantha: Racism!!! AND INCEST!!! The two tenants of Shadowhunters.
Samantha: Oh fuck, this is so sad though.
Shanicka: This is ridiculously sad. I definitely cried a lil my first time through. Ugh.
Samantha: The way her voice broke had me tearing up, I won’t lie. DO I GET MALEC DATES IN THE NEXT EPISODE? YELLING!
Shanicka: I think so??? Pretty sure. Oh my god.
S02E06, “Iron Sisters”
Samantha: Are these the silent sisters?
Samantha: I’m LIVING.
Shanicka: Well the Iron Sisters. It’s the name of the episode too!
Samantha: That’s what I meant. Silent brothers, iron sisters.
Samantha: Raphael! MAKE OUT PLS.
Shanicka: RAPH ALWAYS.
Samantha: I need them to touch less if they’re not going to make out?
Samantha: You can see Izzy getting paler. And like, her eyes are fucked up.
Shanicka: It is so fucked. And it’s not even the worst of it. Which sucks. So much.
Samantha: Oh, I’m sure. In the prequel books the descriptions were horrible. There was one character – a relative of Jace, I’m p sure? Who got addicted to it as a baby and so had to have small amounts for his whole life bc otherwise he would die.
Shanicka: Holy FUCK. That literally makes me hate Aldertree even more. What a sadistic piece of shit. I don’t even know how to spell “it”. Yenfin?
Samantha: Oh, no, wait, I lied. He became a silent brother. Yin fen. From Wikipedia: “James ‘Jem’ Carstairs or Ke Jian Ming: A 17-year-old Shadowhunter who was forced to live in the London Institute after the slaughter of his parents in the Shanghai Institute. After being physically tortured by a demon who constantly fed him with the drug yin fen, Jem became sickly and is deathly dependent on yin fen. Though the drug is slowly killing him, he is forced to live on it to stay alive.” His eyes and hair are silver from the drug. His parabatai was a relative of Jace.
Shanicka: WILD. That is so so so shitty. Jesus.
Samantha: Whyyyyy is Luke having such a hard time controlling his transformations?
Shanicka: Grief from Jocelyn?
Samantha: I didn’t realize emotions had such a massive impact, but that makes sense I guess.
Shanicka: WE DON’T DESERVE MAGNUS.
Samantha: Magnus my boy! A self care advocate!
Samantha: She’s cuuuuuute. Damn. Flirt with her, Simon!
Shanicka: I adore her. Ugh. Maia/Simon forever.
Samantha: Simon is my bicycle for this fandom I think…
Shanicka: Like…you want everyone to ride him?
Shanicka: Oh same. Except Clary.
Samantha: Well yeah, that goes without saying.
Samantha: OH RIGHT. LUKE’S SISTER.
Shanicka: YES, I was shook.
Samantha: Eff, Isabelle is going to suffer here. Yin fen is demonic!!! THIS WAS HER DREAM!!! FUCKIN ALDERTREE!!
Shanicka: Yeah ? and it’s so fucking sad. I hated this.
Samantha: I’m so! Mad!
Samantha: Alec only ever smiles with Magnus. They’re so cute. Everyone is on not-dates except Malec who are on a real date? This is one of my favorite episode structures, lmao.
Shanicka: Lmao it’s incredible. And I hadn’t thought about it like that before omg.
Samantha: Simon and Maia!!! Are perfect!!!
Shanicka: They are the BEST. The only better pairing is Simon/Maia/Jace.
Samantha: There’s something to be said about them getting soaking wet in white dresses to be deemed “pure.”
Shanicka: Omg, definitely.
Samantha: Izzy ?
Shanicka: Poor Izzy.
Samantha: Izzyyyyyyyyyy. Everything Aldertree does is horrible.
Shanicka: THE FUCKING. WORST.
Samantha: Linking the werewolf change to emotion is unique? It — says some things about people of color and monsterism within the context of the series though. Blech.
Shanicka: Yeah, for sure.
Samantha: Respect to Luke for only hunting animals when he’s all fucked up.
Samantha: Aleccccccc. “I always knew I couldn’t have what I wanted until you came along.” ajlkjlakjg!
Shanicka: I know. UGH. I love him so much. So precious.
Samantha: THIS IS SO AWKWARD. Alec’s face! I’m SCREAMING.
Shanicka: It’s super awkward BUT I love that Alec doesn’t take like the “Ewww you’re a slutty bisexual” route. I hate that trope so much.
Samantha: That trope is GARBAGE.
Shanicka: The fucking worst.
Samantha: This pairing is super interesting re: tropes bc like – Magnus is immortal! Alec is a baby! So it makes sense for Alec to be nervous or uncomfortable with how much experience Magnus has, given that he has none? Like, that’s normal in any relationship but especially one with such a DRASTIC age difference ykwim?
Shanicka: YEAH. I was literally gonna type this exactly lmao. So thank you.
Samantha: Gotchu haha.
Shanicka: Like. He isn’t shaming him. He’s just insecure.
Samantha: Yes! But Magnus is careful not to aggravate that insecurity, which I love.
Samantha: Like, yes, Alec is different, but bc Magnus is actually falling for him, versus however many one night stands he’s had.
Samantha: I have a lot of feelings about this.
Shanicka: Lmao same. During my first watch especially!!! I was a mess.
Samantha: I was a WRECK when I read the books.
Samantha: CLARY IS LITERALLY AN ANGEL.
Shanicka: I meannnnnnnnn.
Samantha: Well, she has angel blood. Like a heavy dose of it lmao.
Samantha: “I’ve never felt pain like that” Oh, Luke. This episode went from like… cute to angsty really fast.
Shanicka: Lmao too real.
Samantha: The pacing feels good though.
Samantha: YES ALEC GOOD BOY. Their height difference kills me.
Shanicka: Yeah. And again. My favorite thing about Malec is that they never ever let things stew. Or let resent build. It’s fucking amazing.
Samantha: JACE GTFO
Shanicka: FUCKING COCKBLOCKING ASS JACE.
Samantha: Maia and Simon are so gd cute omfg. I like, wasn’t prepared.
Shanicka: They are the best. My fucking children and I love them.
Samantha: Aldertree, you are garbage. G A R B A G E. What the fuck was that little smile?
Shanicka: The literal worst. I loathe him.
Samantha: He got her addicted on purpose, this trash can. But Izzy being loyal to her friends is everything though. !!!
Samantha: WHOA. WHAT.