Blu-ray Movie Review: Suburbicon

Suburbicon Blu-ray
Directed by: George Clooney
Written by: Joel and Ethan Coen, George Clooney, and Grant Heslov
Starring: Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Oscar Isaac

Review by Stephanie Cooke

Suburbicon does not ease into its story. Not one bit. After a short video explaining how ideallic the town of Suburbicon is, we meet the newest residents of the town: an African American family. This immediately transpired into an angry town hall meeting with angry white men shouting about they don’t want them in the town. Because African Americans haven’t lived enough of this in their lives, even in 2018 so clearly we need to be shown it again. And again. And again…

One family isn’t all that upset about things though, Julianne Mooreand Julianne Moore (she’s playing identical twin sisters in this) tell their son/nephew (respectively) to go befriend the new neighbour, much to his dismay.

Things quickly take a turn and go to shit as some men show up at the Julianne Moore’s house that they share with husband, Matt Damon (I honestly don’t know anyone’s name…) and begin throwing around threats. Annnnd asking Matt Damon to make them drinks and put them on trays. Really.

Anyways, the general (and official) plot of the film is this: “When there is a deadly home invasion in the quiet town of Suburbicon, a seemingly perfect family turns to blackmail, revenge and betrayal.”

There are about 100 reasons why Suburbicon doesn’t work as a film from the nonsensical pacing, the plot itself, and the score that constantly took me out of it. When I think about how much money goes into a movie like Suburbicon, I honestly sometimes wonder about who thought it would appeal to the masses. It’s not that it’s a terrible movie, per se. but it’s a medium movie that’s forgettable. I was bored as snot from the time the film started right through til the end.

And there are just so many random things that are in the film for seemingly no reason. For instance, a scene where young Nicky hears suspicious noises and heads into the basement to investigate with a knife in hand. As he turns on the light, he discovers his aunt bent over his bed with her newly dyed blonde hair (resembling his mother’s) getting spanked with a ping pong paddle by his father. Okay.

Is that what passes for artsy these days? I don’t get why this was even remotely necessary to include but what do I know….

Suburbicon Blu-ray Special Features:

  • Audio Commentary by George Clooney and Grant Heslov
  • Welcome to Suburbicon
  • The Unusual Suspects: Casting
  • Scoring Suburbicon

Verdict:
Ehhh, skip it. Maybe if it comes on Netflix and you’re really bored, check it out but I don’t recommend spending any money on watching Suburbicon.

Stephanie is a Toronto based writer and editor. She's a comic book fan, avid gamer, movie watcher, lover of music, and sarcasm. She is a purveyor of too many projects and has done work for Talking Comics, JoBlo.com, Agents of Geek, Word of the Nerd, C&G Magazine, Dork Shelf, and more.Her writing credits include "Home Sweet Huck" (Mark Millar's Millarworld Annual 2017), "Lungarella (Secret Loves of Geek Girls, 2016), "Behind Enemy Linens" (BLOCKED Anthology, 2017), "Home and Country" (Toronto Comics Anthology, 2017) and more to come. You can read more about her shenanigans over on her personal web site.

Stephanie Cooke

Stephanie is a Toronto based writer and editor. She's a comic book fan, avid gamer, movie watcher, lover of music, and sarcasm. She is a purveyor of too many projects and has done work for Talking Comics, JoBlo.com, Agents of Geek, Word of the Nerd, C&G Magazine, Dork Shelf, and more.Her writing credits include "Home Sweet Huck" (Mark Millar's Millarworld Annual 2017), "Lungarella (Secret Loves of Geek Girls, 2016), "Behind Enemy Linens" (BLOCKED Anthology, 2017), "Home and Country" (Toronto Comics Anthology, 2017) and more to come. You can read more about her shenanigans over on her personal web site.

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